I've just had the week from hell. I'm really hoping it doesn't spill into this week. I wonder if there are some chicken bones I need to wave to make sure the bad luck doesn't follow me. I've been working my ass off recently, which just isn't my style, but what are you going to do when the devil is chasing you? I only got one day off this week, which completely sucks, and the fact that I have to do that next week as well just pisses me off. On top of that, there were more than a few days in there that I was working twelve hours straight. Being salary just doesn't pay. It would have been nice to get out for lunch, but apparently the universe or the company has me on a new diet.
It isn't just the job that is out to get me, I swear the people I work with most, customers, are out to get me as well. I had one tell me I was too mannish. which, after quelling the desire to do a quick extremity check, just threw me for a loop. Apparently she is the authority on what it takes to be feminine. As I didn't see that written anywhere on her, I wasn't aware of that until she lit into me. I was informed she was never coming back, but they keep coming in. Another one asked me what my IQ was. After informing him (around 140 according to the last test I took, although I've been drinking since then), he told me I was actually smarter than that, but I was dumb to be doing the job I was doing. "Why aren't you doing more with your life?" Geez, even my mother stopped doing that years ago.
The best is that my neighbors are trying to drive me insane as well. I got to sleep in yesterday morning (usually I have to be at work at 6 a.m.), but at 8 in the morning my doorbell goes off and wakes my ass out of bed. I stumble to the door in my robe, hair going everywhere and find Moe smoking a cigarette and drinking a Pepsi, all smiles, "Hey! What are you doing?" You know how men see women when they are PMSing? Hair on fire, eyes glowing red, complete with tail and pitchfork? I swear I morphed into that. I was so mad. I jumped his shit for ringing my doorbell at 8 a.m. and told him "Don't call me, I'll call you," although not quite succinctly. Who the hell comes calling on someone at 8 a.m. unless you are expected? I bet he wanted me to cook his ass breakfast. I'm seriously considering moving my ass to the deep country, and importing men when I have an itch to scratch. Although, my itches need to be scratched on a fairly regular basis, so I may have to imprison the best looking ones because I really don't believe in the catch and release system.
Then, to top it off, I've run out of Bailey's and Peppermint Schnapps. Dude, the whole world is against us.
On the flip side, I got the coolest thing in my email this week. The name part of it is cool too. My assistant sent it to me. He has just been popping up with cool little affirmations and words of wisdom lately. It seems he always knows just what I need to hear, whether or not I want to hear it. Kind of odd, but perhaps he knows more than I do right now, or he's just in my corner. Either way, I'll be glad when he comes back to work tomorrow. He's been on vacation and the week has been hell without him.
Things are looking up though. If the game was just played down here, life would be pretty damn close to perfect.
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3 comments:
You know...Chicago has hockey. NHL and AHL. The Blues even come to town sometimes :)
A) Being salary does suck. 10 hour days become expected, and not just a once-in-a-while occurence when things need to get done.
B) Punch Moe in the nutsack next time. I bet he won't come back at 8am.
C) Your life sounds like you need to switch from Bailey's and Peppermint Schnapps anyway. I recommend Grey Goose and soda.
I still have plenty of Bailey's. Just be glad that the evil voices are talkin in my head this week and not yours - but don't be jealous.
I also have a bottle of Bombay. Well, not for too much longer...I hear those voices telling me to have several drinks tonight....
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