Happy New Year

So ends this year, which doesn't make me sad.

I think my ex has been sneaking into the house when I'm away. I know she's been watching Man in the High Castle on my amazon account.

It's stupid shit, but I do have to give it to her. If she wanted to kill any affection I would have had for her, this is the way to do it. She broke my heart, and now she has to sneak into my home to watch tv? And do what else?  It's been eating me alive, but I'm trying to move past it.

Welcome 2017. Please don't suck worse than your predecessor.

Driving myself crazy

 checked my phone bill this morning. My ex is still showing. Call the phone company and they say she won't be on next month cause her phone has been cancelled. And suddenly I want to know what's going on in her life and feel stupid cause I want to ask the phone company hick and it's my like she's going to know anything. And now I can't stop my mind from running through scenarios or trying to figure out what is going on in her life. Nope this why she didn't respond to my text a month ago. Does it flipping matter? Holy hell. When am I going to get her out of my system? When am I going to stop worrying and wondering and having to listen to special music to stop my mind from racing? I get that it has only been 2 months since she dropped me and I get that it takes time, but it feels like I've been stuck here forever.
Spinning my wheels.

Lazy Sunday

It's a crazy lazy sunday. Slept in forever. It was incredibly nice, but I feel like a slouch. So, I signed up for a new apartment, have been bingeing Shadowhunters this morning and have been playing a little bit on Pogo. I really, really need to get my ass on the elliptical, but you know, laziness.

And, I kind of want to get my ass back in bed.

Trying new things

so, last night I went out on a Meetup thing. Not even sure what to call it. It wasn't terrible, but ... that's a lie. It was awful. Super awkward. The only good thing I took away from it is a new group to Jon. For running. And the the fact that one of the people I was talking to does half marathons. And she runs/walks them. And she isn't nearly as fit as I keep envisioning myself. And there was an article on fb last night, (fb? Maybe USA pray.) but it said that if you don't have the right idea while trying to get fit, you won't. Apparently you have to be in the right frame of mind to get, getting fit won't help your mind. This may be harder than I thought.

The Christmas songs make me want to put my head in the sand

All of these Christmas songs are depressing me. I guess it's a bad day

Short hair, don't care

I've been crazy busy today. On my day off. Which is annoying. But I've gotten a lot accomplished. One of those many things is getting my hair chopped off. Like almost shaved off the back end. I've given pixie a new meaning. Well, for me. Now I have to figure out how to artfully tousle it.

Got new running shoes. That way I can continue to train better for the 5K that I'm slowly convincing myself I'm training for. And then made two batches of cookies.  Very, very busy. I miss sleeping in. Oh my goodness I miss sleeping so much.

In other news, I feel free. It's been a weird week. My ex can't seem to figure out how to get her mail transferred. It isn't that hard, I've done it several times. However, her shit keeps coming here. So I messaged her and let her know and she came and got it. But we just had odd messages back and forth. She's blocked my phone number and thinks I'm too stupid to notice so I'm done. So today, more mail came and I wrote on it that it was a wrong address. I'm not going to contact her anymore. I'm tired of reaching my hand out and having it smacked back. It wasn't worth it.

So, it's time for me to move on. It's time for me to make changes and be strong and move the hell on. I'm free. I deserve better and it makes me feel better to know that she is having shitastic luck the last few weeks. It shouldn't make me feel better. I feel like it makes me a bad person. Either way, it makes me feel a little better.