Holding My Breath

Things are picking up at work, which is good cause I'm already bored and bad because I only get one day off a week for the next 8. I did a fat lot of nothing today, played on the computer, listened to music, including Miley Cyrus covering Lana Del Rey. I've never heard Summertime Sadness before, but it was good when Cyrus did it.

I've got my tix to go to StL for xmas. I'll be staying with my sister, who, I'm sure, is losing her mind trying to figure out what she is going to do for all of it. My other sister is contemplating taking a job in StL, which would put her right back in the arms of the family, and the babies. Hell would have to freeze twice before I could find myself back there permanently. I feel like the bad sister/cousin/daughter/random family member because I can't go back. Meanwhile, I have about 49 days left until the holiday, I think, and so I have to keep my feet moving so the guilt doesn't take over.

I've turned off all chat again. I told Shawshank there might be a possibility I would move to the east coast for my job come January. He seemed excited and then dropped off the face of the earth, at least for me. He asked if there was a chance we would meet up and I said I was hesitant because I know his wife is not a fan of me. He insisted it would be fine, but still. I need to find new friends. I need to not be tired of people so that I could find new friends. I have no doubt there is a WikiHow on how an introvert can find new friends. I hope there is a WikiHow.