Detoxing from the tour

'Cause I am drunk today and I'm seldom sober
A handsome rover from town to town
Ah but i'm sick now my days are numbered
Come all you young men and lay me down
Carrickfergus

Got back last night from Ireland. What a wild time. I honestly wish I could have stayed. There was this spot by Skariff that I thought I saw a glimpse of my soul. I just sat on the rock above an incredible cove and cried because it was so beautiful. The only problem is that I can't stop crying. I have been crying at the oddest times. I wish I could just get it out and be done with it, but I can't seem to stop. In all honesty it feels like I've lost something precious and the memory of the loss sneaks up and pulls on my heart. i feel like a right idiot though, just sitting around my apartment crying and I have no idea what I'm crying about. It might be time for drugs. Now I just have to find someone to dole them out.

Of course, I was up almost 24 hours yesterday. The oddest thing that happened (well, there were two) was I was on the flight from Chicago back to Louisville, in mid conversation with a very nice guy on his way to Ft. Knox for training when I fell asleep. Out like a light for probably a half hour. I woke up on the final approach. I felt so bad, but I was exhausted. The second oddest thing that happened is the driver of the taxi I took home kept hitting on me. I was next to incoherent with sleep deprivation, and here is this guy asking all kinds of questions.

I'll write more later. I'm still tired and I have to go back to this dream where Jeremy Piven was telling me he didn't want to just use me for sex any longer. He wanted more. I've got to give the man what he wants!