Wasting my day

I've done pretty much nothing all day but watch Person of Interest and eat. Well, I exercised for a little bit, but I wasn't feeling it. I'm still a little sore from yesterday. I did try and do some planking. I suck at that. My core apparently is very weak.

I did go to my sister's birthday party. It was ok. She hopefully had a great time. There were a lot of people there, she does know quite a few people. A lot of people that know both of us. There were a lot of pitying glances my way. A lot of 'Are you OK?' I'm as ok as I can be I guess. What is OK really? I don't think anyone knows exactly what that means. Am I functioning? Did I get up this morning? Am I still walking around? Have I showered? Yes. and Yes and Yes. But it gets dark at 5 and I get sleepy. There is no reason for me to stay awake. The cats are napping next to me, so it must be ok for me to sleep too.

Am I depressed? Probably. Do I need medication? Probably. Will I take any? Probably not. There is nothing wrong with meds. And I know that it is ok for me to take them, but I believe I need time. I need more time to feel like it is ok that I'm by myself. I need time to feel like I'm making good decisions. Like the decision I made yesterday to tell a friend I was concerned about her because she voted for Trump and if he has his way she won't be able to get married to her gf next year. She, to put it mildly, flipped out. In fact, I'm not entirely sure we still have a friendship or that I'll be invited to her wedding, but I could not sit idly by while she defended her vote on fb, and the kkk of all things. I'm so disappointed in her, but confused to. So I called her on it. Then she called me an asshole.

Life is interesting. I'm not sure if I self destructed our friendship on purpose, or if I could just not stand one more person standing up for bullshit.
I've started reading  What If? I'll let you know how it turns out.